dealbreaker: You’re Too Lame At first I thought...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

You’re Too Lame

At first I thought it was kind of cute that you were the vice
president of the comic book club and that you loved Star Wars. I fully accepted that your profile picture was of the Justice League and you tagged yourself as Superman. I thought I had my very own Sam Weir! But then I found out you had the Final Fantasy soundtrack on your iTunes. And the Zelda soundtrack. I mean, you are thin and short, but I’m not really into the “manly” or “handsome” thing anyways. It’s so sweet how you call me from your house phone (since you don’t own a cell phone) while you’re watching “How I Met Your Mother” and don’t say anything. I guess the silence brings us closer together? What’s even better is when you call my friends and ask them for advice on our relationship. And I’m not all bothered by the fact that I usually pick up the check or the
fact that I always have to pick you up or drop you off…before your curfew. And I really am trying not to be jealous that your screensaver is a slideshow of Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Alba. But it’s kind of weird that the only books you own are science fiction, graphic novels, or cheat code manuals. Don’t get me wrong, you’re really complex. You like beer, but not sports. And you’re sort of angry a lot of the time. It’s like I get the ‘roid rage without the muscles.

Last Friday while I went to that movie with 3 or 4 of my best friends, what did you do? You watched anime for 12 hours? Oh, cool. Your computer is your best friend? Even better. Wait, you DON’T love weed as much as I do? Why are we even speaking? I don’t think it’s working out. I’m kind of tired of dry-humping on your twin bed until you come in your pants. I’d rather date guys that play Call of Duty. At least they usually have cars.

-Written By BrookandWaxing